Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize