Just fell off a train. Bad.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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