Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
