the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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