Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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