no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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