Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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