the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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