she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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