bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
