I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
