1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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