garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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