she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize