if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize