Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
