Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
