So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
