Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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