She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
