i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
