he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize