i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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