I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
