Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
as a side note pls kill me
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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