is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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