Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
