Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize