well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
