Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I am available for nakedness
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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