Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
