okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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