I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
