O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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