I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
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I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
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I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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