the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
