Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
