Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
