Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
how drunk are you?
Several
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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