youre lurking in front of me
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
