Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize