Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Drunk is a universal language darling
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
