I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
