There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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