Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
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so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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