my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
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She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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