He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
