it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
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she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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