are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
