they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I came so hard my ears popped.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
