Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
