Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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