I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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