I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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