its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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