just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize