the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I think people are normalizing furries
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize